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A powerful, brave, and moving memoir of one woman's struggle with alcoholism, a disease that affects fifteen million Americans each year.
"It happened this way: I fell in love and then, because love was destroying everything I cared about, I had to fall out." So begins Caroline Knapp's searing account of her twenty-year love affair with alcohol, the "liquid armor" she used to protect herself from life's painful realities: family tension, social insecurity, fear of intimacy, her parents' deaths. Though she was for twenty years a functioning alcoholic, few would have suspected that beneath her attractive, Ivy League veneer, this successful professional was a young woman who had to drink herself to sleep every night. She thought alcohol gave her the courage to face life. It took her twenty years to admit that drinking only made it more difficult to bear.
Written with warmth, candor, and wisdom, here is one woman's story of addiction and recovery--a story that begins in despair and loneliness, but ends with the hope that within each of us lies the strength to survive in the world without anesthesia.
- Sales Rank: #214558 in Books
- Published on: 1996-05-02
- Released on: 1996-05-02
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x 6.00" w x 1.25" l, 1.40 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 258 pages
Amazon.com Review
The roots of alcoholism in the life of a brilliant daughter of an upper-class family are explored in this stylistic, literary memoir of drinking by a Massachusetts journalist. Caroline Knapp describes how the distorted world of her well-to-do parents pushed her toward anexoria and then alcoholism. Fittingly, it was literature that saved her: She found inspiration in Pete Hamill's A Drinking Life and sobered up. Her tale is spiced with the characters she's known along the way.
From Publishers Weekly
Freelance journalist Knapp began drinking in her early teens and continued unabatedly until she "hit bottom" in 1995 and checked herself into a rehab at the age of 36. During that time she managed to graduate with honors from Brown and have a successful career as a journalist, and few people suspected she had a problem with the bottle. Here she recounts the years of denial that helped her rationalize the blackouts, innumerable hangovers, broken relationships and family tensions characteristic of the alcoholic's story. Knapp interweaves her personal history with factual information about alcohol abuse, including frequent references to the AA meetings she's attended. Here's a confession utterly devoid of self-pity, an extraordinarily lucid and very well-written personal account of a common addiction that is filled with insights as well as a comprehensive treatment of the subject. The text reproduces a questionnaire for alcoholism made up by the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence. First serial to the New York Times Magazine and Cosmopolitan; Literary Guild selection; author tour.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Library Journal
Knapp, a contributing editor for New Woman magazine and weekly columnist for the Boston Phoenix, has written a personal story of her journey through the maze of alcoholism. Because Knapp is a skilled writer, the engrossing and insightful story transcends the purely confessional tone and becomes of interest to many. One of Knapp's recurring themes concerns the denial that alcoholics practice before admitting their disease. Because she came from a middle-class home where drinking was practiced socially, and not from a place of "chaos and storm," she thought that "true alcoholics" were the "unstable and the lunatic." Gradually, she came to admit that she, too, was an alcoholic and with the help of Alcoholics Anonymous began her recovery. Overall, this book will comfort and sustain the recovering alcoholic while enlightening others who want to understand the psychological dependency involved in alcoholism. Recommended for public libraries.?Barbara O'Hara, Free Lib. of Philadelphia
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Most helpful customer reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
One of the best books about a functioning alcoholic!
By Amazon Customer
This is one of my favorite autobiographies. It really hit home for me. It made me look at my own drinking through another person's eyes. Caroline Knapp was a high bottom drunk and I could relate to that. She was high functioning. She was from Boston and wrote for the Boston Phoenix back in the day. No job losses, no messy scenes. But, oh, the feelings! Her description of how drinking felt like going into a room and pulling down the shades really reverberated with me. It's a great read. It's not preachy and it's entertaining. I usually struggle to get through non-fiction books, but I loved this one. It's one of those books I keep recommending. It's just a shame Caroline Knapp is no longer alive to write more wonderful books. Loved this book.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
"Helped me to understand the commonalities people living successfully-but-unhappily with their addictions have"
By Kelsey Warren
This book put things into words that I thought only I had experienced, that only I had fought against.
It was both humanizing and depressing to know there's more people like me out there.
I thought I was more far gone than anyone else (because I was more far gone than anyone else I KNEW), but this book helps you to understand the commonalities people living successfully-but-unhappily with their addictions have, and does it in an entertaining way.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
this is the terrible pain and frustration I have felt all of my ...
By notlyq
As I read, almost spellbound, through the pages of this book I was drawn in by the words that caused me to say to myself "this is me; this is the terrible pain and frustration I have felt all of my life". The stories have recognizable 'characters', though certainly not the same people, but almost every one could be transferable to a person or people in my life. This is the most remarkable book I have personally ever read about the 2 diseases that I have faced for over 45 years: depression and alcoholism. The chicken or the egg, which came first. In my case, it was depression. Alcohol was my only source of relief from that pain. But sadly, it then became an entirely 'other' and additional problem. The rage and anger that ensues when that it realized, it so articulately described in this book. The absolute self destruction that results from trying to stop the pain or at least for a short while, ease or avoid it. She mentions that instead of going through emotions, you just go around them. I have had no success with AA but I may have been focusing on the stupid acronyms and cliches. She shines a light on the need to realize that it is about saving your own life. AA stresses that you should "take what works for you and leave the rest". She accomplished that and further goes on to explain that it is an every day effort. This book is written with a 'spot-on' dialogue. I too, as one reviewer mentions, would love to meet Caroline Knapp in person to thank her. I hope so very much that she has finally realized how valuable and brave she is and how she has given a true gift to this world by putting into words, what far too many of us could not find words to express. I will re-read this book many times!
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